Video Interview with a Sexologist: What Does Sexology Training Look Like?
- Shannon Burton
- 1 day ago
- 25 min read
Recently, our faculty member Erin A. Alexander was interviewed about what becoming a certified sexologist actually entails.
Erin is a licensed therapist and certified clinical sexologist in practice since 2003.
Watch the video below to hear her take on the SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment), current cultural shifts around sexuality, and yes—how watching porn plays a role in professional sexologist training:
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Want to know more about sexology certification?
Visit our Sex Coach Training Program to see the curriculum, read student reviews, and more:
Video Transcript (auto-generated):
:00
[Music]
0:06
Hey everybody, this is Teranimo from the Beyond Taboo podcast and I'm here joined
0:12
by Erin, our usual guest and friend. How are you doing, Erin?
0:19
I'm doing great, Girono. How are you? And how is our audience?
0:25
How are you doing, guys? Now, um everything well, Erin? Uh well guys um
0:30
we are joined here uh by Erin to talk about a very interesting topic. I must
0:37
say when you first uh first proposed this subject to me Erin I I thought oh
0:43
wow I didn't know that we definitely need to talk about this. So, like you
0:49
guys probably imagined uh by the title of this episode, today we'll be talking
0:56
about well what it takes to be a sexologist because well uh it's not like
1:03
you can do any online course to be able to help uh someone's that having some
1:10
issues or some concerns about the sexuality, right Arin? I mean it's this
1:15
is something you need to study and study a lot probably.
1:22
Absolutely. Um it's a lot of what we do is fun. Um and some of the things that
1:29
we do aren't so fun like doing all the research and the you know those types of
1:34
things. Nobody thinks that's fun when you're being educated but this is actually a field where we have fun doing
1:43
it. you know, the whole residency part to the training. It's a lot of fun. We get to attend
1:49
interesting things, interesting workshops, and be immersed in all of all
1:55
of the sexuality stuff. And so, it is absolutely fun. Okay. Okay. Now, now I can think of so
2:01
many questions to to ask you. Uh but let me let me start with these uh two
2:08
questions. I think the first one uh we probably talked about this in the past but uh
2:15
just for the audience to know I'd love you to share a little bit about the
2:21
precise moment where you when you decided to well study sexology like was
2:27
there any sort of experience that sort of gave you the clue or like that
2:35
precise moment what was going on with Erin?
2:40
The first time I considered it, uh, I had a couple who was, uh, now I know
2:48
what they were experiencing. It was some issues with consensual non- monogamy or
2:54
what people believe is swinging. And I didn't really have any information about it. I thought what
3:01
everybody else thinks, they think that all of that is swinging and it isn't.
3:06
And so I said, "Oh, okay. Well, I need to educate myself about this just so I can work with the couple." And then it
3:12
just opened up this huge umbrella of sexuality stuff. And so I was very
3:19
intrigued. And so just went from there and did several years of of training.
3:26
Well, I I hope this couple didn't have to wait so all those years to talk about
3:32
that, you know. No, they didn't. They were very patient with me. And then what was interesting,
3:38
they weren't finding a lot of people, a lot of uh professionals to talk to about
3:43
it, but at least I was interested in learning with them and listening to what they had to say. They didn't feel judged
3:50
or anything like that. So they're they're doing fantastic and uh I'm glad
3:56
that I did that. I pursued doing things to work with u couples and then the
4:01
sexuality because sex is a part of your relationship. for sure. And I guess Erin, correct me if I'm wrong, but
4:10
I don't know how it is over there, but um well, you talked about judgment. Um
4:16
do you feel these topics are somehow a little bit well sorry for the redundancy
4:22
but h judged within like psychology
4:27
circles like some professionals like I don't know probably I can imagine a
4:32
psychologist hearing the word swinging and oh okay I don't know you have that
4:37
or I don't know you have this issue like something like that but maybe I'm I'm misjudging.
4:43
I think you're accurate because people who are in the mental health
4:48
profession if they don't have any additional training then they do tend to be judgmental
4:54
um and they don't understand that it comes across that way uh when they're being that uh judgmental
5:00
and then they bring morals into it uh what's right and what's wrong and I
5:06
think that can be a a problem if you don't have the additional uh training
5:12
and you can't see things from people's perspective. Well, that's important.
5:18
That's interesting. Well, uh I guess well I was wondering uh I'm sure you had
5:25
to learn a lot not just to help that couple h but I mean all your patience.
5:32
So when you were when you were first taking that step initially like what was
5:39
your first impression uh when I don't know you stumbled upon for the first
5:46
time with the syllabus of your training with with how much time you spent actually studying for or to be as
5:55
sexologist I mean how how tell me a little bit about that training I'd love to hear about it Okay. Um, so it takes a
6:04
few years uh because it's not just the the uh the book knowledge, it's also
6:10
like an internship or residency that you have to do. So it's it's pretty intensive. Uh but the baseline things
6:18
that any of us would have to have it's you know ethics and things from a
6:24
socioultural uh perspective like religion or ethnicity. All of those
6:29
things can impact your world view with regards to sexuality. And then uh sexual
6:36
orientation and gender. Um the intimacy things that are involved in relationships. Um libido, diverse
6:45
lifestyles like the kink and and you brought up swinging. Um medical issues
6:52
and reproductive issues and STI. Um we also learn about range of functioning
6:58
like if somebody if one person has a lower libido or a higher libido than the other.
7:04
Okay, things like that. We we learn about that. Uh we learn how to address sexual pain because sometimes that
7:11
happens with women um pain during sex and so we learn how to address that.
7:17
And then of course Oh sorry for the interruption but you just brought that topic and I
7:23
find it very interesting. uh because I feel like it's not uh covered enough. Uh
7:31
somehow there's a there's a great brand. Sorry for this sort of
7:39
introduction of a different topic. But there's a very good run. I think they
7:44
they changed the name and now they're called the pelvic people. Uh but they
7:49
used to be called on and it's like a device uh to like create a distance erh
7:58
between the pelvis and well uh the vagina you know it's like a rings some
8:05
rings you stack to not penetrate with your full length somehow.
8:12
But yeah, a a very important issue. H because well, usually, sorry to expand
8:18
on this thing. Uh but I don't know, I feel like most men uh when they are big,
8:25
uh well, they they don't consider uh the the weight of that responsibility, if
8:32
you know what I mean. Yes. Yes. And that's even brought up in the
8:38
Kama Sutra, by the way. Oh, really? Um, oh, absolutely. People think the Kama Sutra is just a bunch of
8:44
sex positions, but actually those sex positions are designed for certain
8:50
things. Like if if the guy has a bigger penis and then the woman has a a smaller
8:55
vulva, like there are certain positions for that. And so, you know, we learn things like that, like positioning and
9:01
that goes along like with uh pleasure enhancement. So, you're bringing up a
9:07
great topic. And then the use of toys. We have training on the use of toys and
9:12
what toys are for what and what lubes are for what. Um and then like I said
9:17
the sexual positions. So we learn about all of this and in fact I used to teach
9:23
a kama sutra class. Oh that's that's fantastic. It was it
9:28
was a lot of fun, but I taught it in a very realistic way because no one is
9:33
going to be a gymnast in the bedroom and then the pictures that you see in the
9:39
Kama Sutra, people aren't going to usually be able to do those things. And so I made it more realistic and then use
9:46
furniture, you know, to to enhance and, you know, uh create certain positioning and Yes.
9:54
Yes. And so it made it very realistic for people and it didn't make any difference what your weight or size or
10:00
anything like that. And so yeah, those are things that we would learn to That's fantastic. I I I imagine your
10:08
classes uh weren't boring at all. Like I I I can imagine you and your classmates
10:15
hearing this for the first time. And I'm sure there were a lot of laughs or or even awkwardness maybe at first when
10:23
you're first hearing about these topics and being taught I don't know about this
10:28
this whole world like uh how it's how how is how is it like actually sharing
10:35
this journey with your other classmates you know
10:41
we're a fun bunch um we have to we had to watch a lot of porn and then we had
10:47
to talk about it. We had to go to swing torture. It It was It was a lot of fun. It was
10:57
um It was That's the kind of That's the kind of homework I'd like to get. You know,
11:02
it we liked it. We We really liked it. And then to visualize and say, "Okay, I
11:09
would have never thought this professional over here was into that stuff." So, you know, we have our
11:15
feelings about that. But it's funny. It's It's funny because you What's the purpose? I I mean, obviously,
11:21
for sure, educate yourself. I can I can imagine. Uh but I mean, what's the
11:28
purpose or or or what's like the format of those h assignments, you know, like
11:34
watching porn, like, okay guys, we need to talk about, I don't know, like anal.
11:39
So I want you everybody for the next class to watch 4 hours of anal porn. So
11:45
how does it work you know? No not like that at all. Um if we attend
11:51
something like a um a sexual um
11:57
um it's it's called a SAR. Okay. And in in in our profession that's what it's
12:03
called. a sexual um let me see what the what the wording because I don't want to
12:09
name any agencies. It's a sexual attitude reassessment. And so what we do in that
12:17
like it's usually about 16 hours and it can be more. And it's about allowing us to express our values, our feelings, our
12:25
opinions about things that are pretty intensive in the under the sexual uh umbrella. Like for example, um if they
12:34
say that we're going to be watching porn, it might be some extreme types of pornography and then they want to
12:41
um have us talk about what we felt when we saw it and what our biases may have
12:48
been when we were watching that. Or like if we attend go to a dungeon or a
12:53
slinger club, like we get to not be clinical about it. We get to talk about were we feeling judgmental? What are our
13:01
values? What are our attitudes about this? And so I think that's super important to turn off the,
13:07
you know, I'm a professional. Like turn off that. Yes. Yes. And so it makes it easier for
13:13
us to relate to a a a client. Well, that's amazing. I I'm
13:19
I'd love to know like uh how was like your your first experience watching porn
13:27
as an assignment? Like were there any like porn genre that
13:34
shocked you a bit? Like uh tell me a little bit about that experience. I'd love to hear it.
13:40
Well, there was some porn that um it was a struggle like I know that people are
13:47
into um you know animals and um Yes. And I
13:57
had to get past the that's illegal and just say, "Okay, this is what this person is into or certain types of
14:04
pornography like um how how sorry, how
14:10
I mean, how was it possible for the institution to share that sort of of
14:16
porn? I mean, I I'm not sure, but I think it's illegal, right? or was like with 3D animation or people using
14:24
costumes? It's it's it was available on porn like
14:30
some of that was available. Wow. Um yes, I don't think it is as much
14:36
anymore, but at the time that I got my training, it was obviously available. And so they
14:41
wanted to know what our reactions to that would be. And it was a struggle. I
14:47
can. That was just That was one of them. I was like, "Oh, I I don't know if I can keep watching this." And it was hard to
14:53
get out of my head with that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure
15:00
Oh, wow. That's That's a lot. Yeah. I couldn't imagine. I mean, and other fetishes.
15:07
And we have to get past the just because someone has a fetish, that doesn't mean
15:12
it's illegal. It doesn't mean that they should be judged for it. It doesn't even mean that they're acting on a fetish.
15:18
And so we had to understand the differences with that too. You know, somebody may
15:24
sorry, somebody may be into necrilia, but we have to think like, okay, what is
15:30
that about? Help me to understand it. And we also have to think about, well, sometimes necroilia is illegal depending
15:38
on where you are. Um, so lots of those things. It was it was pretty intense.
15:43
Wow. you you really sort of explored like the most extreme borders of
15:52
well of the possibilities of the sexual desire like yes
15:58
it's amazing you know but some of this stuff I mean uh it's all relative I
16:03
guess and some things may sound shocking or look shocking because we're educated
16:09
in different cultural backgrounds or systems And well, some of those what we
16:16
now or today call fetishes were actually the norm in other contexts like I mean
16:24
for example Sophilia I mean that's something that
16:30
happens a lot like in the countryside like in rural backgrounds uh you know my
16:37
my father's side of the family lives in in a very rural rural
16:42
or contraite spot. And they once told me an anecdote where they there was someone
16:50
that took care of the horses and well like they stumble upon a very intense
16:57
scene, you know, and there were tourists, you know, because my father sort of has like this tourist uh complex
17:05
and well those tourists got themselves a very intense souvenir. Uh, but it
17:12
happens. It happens. I mean, well, when you're all alone, I guess
17:20
things start to look more attractive. So, right.
17:28
I'm trying to not visualize.
17:35
Anyways, h jumping to another topic. Erin, you mentioned you had to go with your classmates to a
17:42
swinging club. How how was that experience? Tell me like it was um it it was very unique because
17:51
even though I had a client who was involved in the alter what we call alternative lifestyles, I had actually
17:57
never been to one and I found it fascinating like how open people were,
18:04
how respectful people were. They respected boundaries. Like there wasn't there weren't people just grabbing each
18:11
other. They have rules in those places because they're very protective and they
18:16
like to maintain confidentiality. Like you can't walk around with your phones and be posting things. They don't allow
18:23
that. So it was actually a wonderful experience. All the times that I've attended,
18:29
wonderful experiences, great people. You get to watch people have sex. Uh they
18:34
have rules about that too. You can only go in the back if you're with a partner.
18:39
You have to, you know, take your partner if you're watching. Okay. Right. Right. And then you can be in
18:46
there and participate um in certain ways and then you have an audience that's watching the
18:51
participation like with pop with popcorn and all.
18:56
Absolutely. Yeah. Have your wine and you're Yeah. You're back there watching and they're performing and serious.
19:03
It's fascinating. Yes. Wow. Yes. Yes. That's actually interesting.
19:09
Yes, it is. And then there are people. Sorry. Like there's a line, you know,
19:15
like okay, who's next? Whose turn is next? Like you get to like suddenly the
19:21
scenario is available and how is it?
19:27
Who's next? It's um the the one that I've attended like the
19:33
it was a huge area where there were beds and then a couple or two would just go
19:39
in there and they would have you know a bed and do their stuff and then the rest of us
19:45
were out there watching and it was like taking notes obviously probably. Yeah. Well, if I if it's an
19:52
assignment then of course I'm taking notes but and I'm watching other people. I'm I'm seeing what their reactions are
19:59
like to see, oh well, this is a new this is a new couple and that's why they're reacting to this. And so that was
20:05
fascinating to me to see how people behaved. It's very very clean like they have people in there to keep things very
20:13
um sterilized and clean. So it's not like a you know some nasty orgy or
20:19
anything like that. Um we got to attend dungeons where we got to see Shabari.
20:26
uh we got the Japanese roping. We got to see um how you know people getting
20:32
paddled or whipped um those types of things. And so it was fascinating to see that you know how
20:40
that transpired and the consent that's involved and the care that's given. So
20:45
it was absolutely fascinating and we get to we're graded on
20:52
the things that we do sexually like we have to be proficient in different
20:58
sexual areas and so if we have a partner the partner is going to well our partners do
21:05
oh all right your your actual partners or like your classmates yes no not classmates our partners grade
21:12
us and then we give the assessment to to our our group. Um,
21:17
wow. One of my colleagues who uh her husband is a doctor, she was going through the
21:24
program and her husband gave her an F on fellatio and she was heartbroken and
21:31
said, "You're ruining my GPA. I can't get an F." And he said, "Well, I'll do better and I'll give you a
21:38
better grade." Wow. like you suddenly
21:46
gave all the power to your partner, you know, like she got an A. She she eventually got her
21:52
A. So, Oh, wow. So, she really she really trained for it. That's great. Absolutely. And then if you happen to be
21:59
bisexual, you get graded on a lot of stuff. So, and if you have fetishes,
22:04
like you get graded on things and you get to present that.
22:10
Oh, wow. So that's incredible. I I I'm actually very surprised that there's
22:17
like this sort of requirement of proficiency. I mean I I I mean it's
22:22
actually smart the way they do it and definitely fun if you are in a
22:29
relationship while studying sexology. But yeah, I mean it's it's like if you
22:37
were trying to study to be I don't know like a person to be a personal trainer
22:42
and well, you know, there's that whole debate debate, you know, like you need to be fit to train people.
22:51
So I guess it's somehow like that interesting. Yes.
22:56
I'm amazed. One time I had a um I was actually teaching the Kama Sutra class
23:03
and one of the uh participants just blurted out, well,
23:10
what do you do for a uh G-spot orgasm?
23:15
And so I started speaking very clinically like, "This is what you do. These are the positions." and she said,
23:21
"No, I meant what do you do for a G-spot forecast orgasm." And so that
23:29
caught me off guard because she wanted for me to be a person, you know, she
23:34
didn't want for me to be an educator or anything like that. She wanted me to be real with her. And that was one of the
23:40
first times that it dawned on me that I can't be superficial with this. you
23:47
know, I have to have the experiences if I'm going to talk to people about it. Wow. Well, that's incredible.
23:55
Yeah. Being called out, it didn't feel good at the moment, but
24:00
when I look back at that, that's one of the best things that ever happened to have a client tell me to be specific and
24:07
personal uh with, you know, like a position or a type of lubricant or
24:13
anything like that. And so now I don't have any, you know, shame about, you
24:19
know, hey, this works and this is what you use it for. Oh, absolutely. Well, that's incredible. I mean uh it's
24:27
definitely a field that oblies you or pushes to pushes you to
24:34
like I don't know be very strong somehow like uh
24:40
I don't know like really um get to know yourself and and what you like and what
24:47
you don't and the the vast possibilities of your body and and pleasure. It's like
24:53
I don't know. Yeah, getting to know yourself in a very deep and extensive way. So, well, it's it's it's
25:01
fascinating and and Erin, I was I was I was thinking when you were h mentioning
25:07
about Walt's um swinging clubs and the dungeons, like
25:14
what were like the again the the most challenging experiences
25:20
you got as assignments? Uh besides animal porn, that was that
25:29
was one of them. Um sometimes the impact play
25:34
uh was a struggle because it looked like the person was in pain, like it looked like they had injuries. And so before I
25:42
had more education about it, it was very challenging for me to see someone, you know, tied up and being hit with
25:49
something and then seeing that, you know, the skin was red and all of that. it was hard to get out of my medical
25:56
head versus this is a pleasurable thing for this couple and they um there's
26:04
consent involved. Uh it's not what we usually think and so that was a little challenging at first. Um what else was
26:12
challenging? Um I won't say this was challenging. This was just a surprise when I went to a
26:20
swingers club that these couples weren't in the back having sex. Like there were two couples
26:28
and I'm going to try to be as descriptive as possible so you can try to visualize what was happening.
26:34
Okay. It looked almost like an orgy. So you had legs up and one person going down on
26:41
the other and somebody behind the other. And I just blurted out like, "Oh my god,
26:47
I love her shoes." Because her shoes were her feet were up in the air.
26:54
I don't know if that was nervousness or shock by me saying that. I was like, "Oh my god, those are some fantastic shoes."
27:03
So, and that the all four of them, they were sitting near me. Um, and then there
27:09
were other people just walking by like none of that was happening. And then the rest of us, we were like, "Oh my god,
27:15
like this is real." So that things like that happen and then you just get to
27:22
I I'm a little bit curious um about the dynamics uh on those sort of clubs like
27:31
I mean what happens I I'm sure the the answer might be obvious to you but I'm
27:36
well if we contrast this dynamic with how things work today with well dating
27:43
apps and uh swiping else like okay how
27:49
do you sort of manage a situation where
27:54
when when you're not into a cattle like are there any rules or protocols to
27:59
politely say I don't know like
28:06
trying to get trying to get into the lifestyle. Oh, no. No. Like for example, imagine for example, you go with your
28:14
partner to a swinging club and maybe a couple approaches you and I don't know,
28:20
maybe you're not into them. So, I guess it's a bit tricky to say no without
28:26
being ruled or I don't know if if if I'm
28:32
being clear enough. Yes, you are. Uh because people who are
28:37
involved who who attend those usually they understand that you're not going to
28:44
be into everybody. Okay? You can even meet people and become friends with them
28:49
and meet people and end up going to house parties. So it's not what people think. It's not like you go to the
28:55
swingers club and you go home with a couple. That rarely happens. Oh wow. Like usually they're trying to
29:01
make sure there's safety involved and that you click with the with the other party. Um, one time when I went,
29:09
this is how the approach was. Um, usually the it works best if the women
29:15
do the initiating, you know, with a couple or with another woman or with a
29:21
guy. It usually works better. And why do you think that happens? Um
29:29
it's maybe it's because women don't feel like they have power anyway and this is one area where they can have more say.
29:37
So and it just works better. You know, if there's chemistry, if the woman believes
29:42
there's chemistry, then the sex is probably going to be better. Guys can just have sex regardless. Like,
29:50
you know, y'all are like microwaves. You just hit a button and it's like it just happens. is women are like ovens.
29:58
That's a great analogy actually. I tell people that all the time, you know, like you got to let the woman run
30:05
the oven, warm things up, check things out, and the guy can just show up and
30:10
he's the microwave. That's true. Yes. Yes. So, it's it's
30:17
you don't it's not like what you know people think and you're just going home with random people. Um, a lot of times
30:23
there are memberships that you where you can connect with people out, you know,
30:28
um, outside of there. And so it's a community. I It's It's a very um,
30:35
it's a distinctive way of living. I I'm sure. Yes. And you tend to be around people
30:42
who are open to that. And even if you're not swinging with them or playing with
30:47
them, you're around people who aren't going to judge you because they're part of the community
30:52
and they keep you safe. And I guess that's like the way to approach the experience. I guess it's
30:59
not something like you could you I guess you could start like in your own circle
31:06
of friends, you know, like I'm sure that could definitely complicate things and
31:12
it could. So yeah. Well, that's that's Yeah. Sorry
31:18
to ask so much questions about swinging. I got curious.
31:24
That's that's perfectly okay. we can do a whole bunch of episodes talking about
31:30
swinging because that is actually where I got a lot of my um additional training
31:36
with the consensual non- monogamy that umbrella of um
31:42
um sexuality and then also the kink. So those were my choices to do the
31:47
alternative lifestyles to get lots of training in that area. Oh yeah. Yes. male sexual health, the uh
31:55
consensual non- monogamy, the kink, and then like sexual pleasure, like having more um information about that, you
32:03
know, the use of toys, specific toys for specific things, like for clitoreral
32:09
stimulation or G-spot access. And then what type you use for anal sex? And then
32:15
there are certain ones that women would use and then men would use because your bodies are different. your bodies are
32:20
are um the anatomy is different. And so having that, we have to know that too. Lots of anatomy and physiology, but it's
32:28
not the same as when you go to a doctor's office where they just, you know, this is connected to this and this
32:33
is how this works. We understand all of it, like the pleasure part of it, because you're not going to get that in
32:38
a doctor's office. No, for sure. Not. Yeah. Like a doctor's not going to talk to a patient about her
32:45
clitoris because the clitoris has no use except pleasure.
32:52
True. I learned that too. That's true. Mhm. And looking back
33:00
as a retrospective exercise, how did it go
33:05
to that couple you you first wanted to help?
33:13
when you finally got yourself the tools to be able to help them out.
33:19
Um, I did some reading lots of there's lots of books out there. Um, and their
33:26
issue I it ended up being that they needed to make adjustments with their
33:32
agreement because when you're in the lifestyle, you have you should have a written agreement of what's going to happen,
33:40
what your boundaries are and all of that. And all they really needed to do was have a professional there so they
33:46
could tweak the things that they already had on their agreement. H.
33:52
And so it ended up being pretty easy, but I didn't think it was at first. I was I was thinking, "Oh my god, what am
33:59
I getting myself into?" Um, but it was so intriguing and then to
34:05
learn from them like they had been in the lifestyle uh not very long, maybe a
34:10
couple of years. And so it made sense to me later on why they would come to a professional to tweak what they had on
34:17
their agreement, you know, to find out what what's in the container of their relationship and all of that. So it was
34:24
fun. It was a lot. We all had a lot of fun with that. Yeah, I can imagine. And they were patient with me. Very
34:30
patient. And they were grateful that I was willing to learn. Oh, that's fantastic. That's great.
34:35
actually. Do you remember like I mean after finally getting your degree and
34:42
finishing your studies like I'm sure you were like all
34:49
excited to well receive these different
34:54
sort of consultations suddenly. So like did you do do you remember like
35:01
any of those first successful experiences as a new sexologist?
35:09
Yes. Uh most of the referrals that I got at first were about
35:14
um the range of sexual functioning like if one person's libido didn't match the
35:20
other. Those were very fascinating cases because there could be a number of reasons that that happens. And so to
35:27
work with the couple problem, right? Absolutely. And there could be it could
35:32
be maybe one person has pain, maybe one person has had trauma or
35:38
um a long day or or taking a medication or maybe the
35:44
person's been stressed and so they're not feeling as sexual as the other person. Uh so it was it was a a
35:51
different range a lot of different ranges of functioning and interesting to hear each couple's um issue.
35:58
H oh that's interesting. Oh fantastic. And and Erin uh when you first mentioned
36:06
you mentioned some minutes ago uh books h and I think this could be a great uh
36:14
closure question. I mean, you had to study a lot to become
36:19
a psychologist. Now you guys know what you need
36:24
to study and to know to actually be able to help people h with their own
36:31
sexuality. So I'm curious about like the best pieces of knowledge either
36:40
those are in the format of books, courses, uh what were like the most important
36:50
uh pieces of knowledge you stumbled upon either books or courses or whatever like
36:55
if you were uh if if you could recommend those to someone.
37:01
Okay. Um some of the books uh I can name some of the books
37:08
like um for general general sex education. I
37:13
really liked the one called Guide to Getting It On Unzipped.
37:19
That one had a very glo I like the title of it. It has a very global approach to
37:27
sex education and it covers everything and so I really liked it. There are several for female sexuality. One of
37:35
them is called slow sex the art and craft of the female orgasm.
37:40
And then come as you are the surprising new science that will transform your sex life. Uh girl boner that's about sexual
37:49
empower sexual empowerment. very creative titles I must say. Yes. Yes. And one of the couples uh sex
37:58
positions, the modern Kama Sutra, that's a really good one. And then for male sexuality, uh male
38:05
multiple orgasm and different techniques. There are a lot of books like books associated with
38:12
Yes. with kink and then consent with consensual nominogamy with jealousy
38:18
associated with consensual non- monogamy. There are lots of books and there lots of workshops that I've
38:24
attended that uh where they they um the presenters speak about the legalities
38:31
associated with being in the kink or being involved in the kink lifestyle.
38:36
Um because in some states it's illegal. Oh wow. Okay. Like you can't consent to be
38:42
assaulted. Oh wow. Yes. So we have to know those types of
38:48
things. Um we have to know about um medical professionals who are kink
38:53
friendly so that when people have injuries they're not too embarrassed to go and seek medical attention.
39:01
Like one of the examples that we were given in the class um someone had gotten
39:07
an injury where the genitals got stuck in a zipper.
39:13
Oh yes. And so it was challenging to find a
39:20
provider who would deal with that. And so the person ended up having an infection.
39:25
So okay. So that's the kind of stuff that we have to
39:31
I saw your face. Yeah. I I get like I can imagine things
39:37
easily, you know. So yes. So things like that, you know, that an ordinary
39:43
um mental health professional, they're not going to have a clue about what to do with that or who to refer someone to.
39:50
Um you know, we encourage people if you're in the kink lifestyle, be part of the community and have a lawyer uh
39:58
depending on the state that you're in. Uh because there have been times when,
40:03
you know, law enforcement was called. Wow. and they walk in and then they see
40:09
someone tied up or obviously hit and then they're confused about what
40:16
they're supposed to do about that, you know, and the person is waving arrest them or or join,
40:24
right? That would be hilarious.
40:29
Arin, you mentioned uh workshops and I and I promise this will be my last
40:35
question. If you were given the chance to I mean now like uh related to your
40:42
current interests, what's pulling you lately? Like if someone gives you the
40:48
chance to uh give an offer like the most
40:54
personalized and tailored to your interest workshop, what could it be
41:00
about? It would be something related to consensual non- monogamy.
41:06
Definitely. Um I just I
41:12
I don't believe in monogamy the way that it is applied in society. Uh so my mind
41:19
has been open um and coming in contact with as many people as I have who are a
41:24
part of the lifestyle. I just have a lot more um perspective in
41:30
that and it's fascinating to me. Um I think the kink world by any workshops
41:36
with that I think those are those are fascinating as well. I think we have a topic for our next
41:41
chat you know I mean that phrase like I think the way
41:47
monogamy works in society I'm not like
41:53
in agreements with that. I I mean it's like the hook to start like a whole
41:59
conversation about it. So I'd love to talk about it in our next chat. So I'd love to
42:06
h but for today I appreciate Arin you sharing all this experience. H it really
42:13
takes a lot of time and journey to become a sexologist but I don't know I feel like it's like the
42:19
most fun career you might be trained for. Like
42:25
it's it's amazing. I I didn't know like at all like all the all the things you
42:30
you need to to do to actually become a sexologist. It's fascinating. So
42:36
appreciate uh you are in being here today to tell us about uh this amazing
42:42
and necessary career. Uh so you guys now
42:47
know and also don't forget that if you want uh to to book a session uh an
42:54
assessment chat uh with Erin, you can use uh the link below on the video
43:01
description and keep uh stay tuned. H I'm sure we'll have lots of different uh
43:08
topics to chat about with Erin. You'll also find the books below. So, thanks
43:14
guys for being here today and we'll see you the next time. Thanks, Arin again.
43:20
Thank you, Geronimo. I've enjoyed this. Bye-bye.