Slow Sex...The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, By Nicole Daedone
You know how I first heard about this book? From a middle-aged man who had been divorced twice! The second person who told me about the book was also a man. Both told me that they decided to do some personal growth in the romantic relationship department. I was very impressed. Whether a woman asked them to read the book or not, it spoke volumes to me as a relationship coach/therapist...they both took the time to read the book. They both received benefit from it and had the courage to recommend the book to a professional as a therapeutic tool.
I must admit, Slow Sex...The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm is one of the best intimacy books I’ve read in my career. The author did a spectacular job of describing how intimacy is soooo much more than physical intimacy and sex. Although the book was written primarily from the heterosexual couples perspective and has some focus on the female experience, I can see how it can benefit any couple because, the primary focus is on attention being the foundation of pleasure. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, we tend to view sex and sexuality from a scientific or Hollywood perspective, which leads us to have unrealistic expectations of what is “good sex”.
The author took a different perspective and describes sex as an art. She refers to OM, or Orgasmic Meditation, This slow “sex process” involves ridding ourselves of the scientific expectations, being very attentive to sensation, and being verbal about our wants. The book is very interactive and is an excellent workbook for couples who are working on physical and emotional intimacy skills.
When I teach the Kama Sutra class at the Sexology Institute, this is one of the highly recommended books. Contrary to western popular perception, the Kama Sutra is not just a sex manual. It is usually synonymous with “creative sexual positions”, when in reality, only about 20% of it is instruction on sexual positions. The majority of the book, is about the philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, and what sustains desire. So congruent with that theme, Slow Sex is an excellent guide to better orgasms and intimacy in general. You develop a deeper connection to your partner, you end up with less performance anxiety, and a greater interest in sex.