Boxes

It’s amazing how people come in and out of your life, and how small coincidences set in motion a chain reaction. I don’t know when the little things started, but I am sure that a series of choices in my life have sent me in a trajectory of change. A little over 3 years ago, I chose to accept a job that would allow me to work for a friend. She thought that I was helping her out. In reality, she was helping me.

My position at the Sexology Institute started out as a just a second job to help subsidize my income as a public school teacher. My initial responsibilities were those of a retail worker. I educated our guests about intimacy devices, lubricants and other sensual products. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was making a difference in the lives of so many. People easily opened up to me and shared many intimate details of their lives. I thoroughly enjoyed empowering women and helping partners increase intimacy in their relationships. I delighted in this extra work. I had no idea at the time, that the person that would benefit most from these little chats was this crazy, workaholic, single mom: Me.

I am proud to be a walking paradox as I juggle the old me and the person I am becoming.

Sadly, I had to keep my position as a sex educator a secret because of the impact that it could have on my career. I felt trapped. I was not able speak freely or saturate my social media about all of the great work we are doing at the Sexology Institute. A significant part of my life had to be hidden. As I reflect on the happenings of my life, I realized that this was a pattern in my life. It reminded me of some art that was painted by a friend, Chelsey Tyler Wood. She painted a beautiful series of women trapped in boxes. My mind was blown.

Many of us are trapped in boxes. The boxes may have been created to protect us, but many times have become a tool of control. It may be a partner, a job, a deeply held belief, a political leaning, or it could be an insecurity. It doesn’t matter what the box is; too many of our boxes can be crippling us. When we attempt to contort ourselves into these different box, we become slaves to the things that control us.

My journey to break free from my boxes has been a slow process, and I still have a long way to go. I am happy to know that I am surrounded by loving family and friends who are supportive. Today, I break free from a “safe” career that gives me security. I happily trade it to feed a passion to educate people and provide them with the necessary tools to liberate them from some of the boxes that control them. I will no longer hide behind pseudonyms or conceal myself in the shadows because of what people may think of me. Instead, I stand. I am proud to be a walking paradox as I juggle the old me and the person I am becoming. I am no longer willing to allow anyone to confine me or define me. Please allow me introduce myself: I am Becky Malarski, M.Ed. - Sex Educator for the Sexology Institute in Sexy San Antonio, Texas.

- Painting by Chelsey Tyler Wood (used with permission) -