“The best way to stay healthy is to love a lot and fuck a lot”
So, you’ve reached that drab, difficult spot in a relationship where you’d rather linger in your worn out pajamas all day rather than go down on your partner or have them do the same to you, have you? Ah… we’ve all been there, and it’s a total madness, the feeling. One moment you are all over this person, the thought of them makes you wanna touch yourself in public (even though you know it’s wrong and you’d probably end up cuffed by the police but you just.don’t.care) and the other – you can’t even touch them. What the hell is happening?
Well, we’ll tell you what it is – the mojo’s gone. The bad news is, it’s a terrible, overwhelming, disturbing feeling that can totally mess you up; the good news is – it’s fixable.
To all of you who’d rather work on brining the excitement back into the relationship than let things go and break up, we’re giving you a few tips that will definitely help you turn things into your own (sexual and emotional) advantage.
Rekindle emotion, trust and intimacy
Long-term relationships are absolutely beautiful and gratifying but they can also be the most dangerous thing for a couple; when people get way to comfortable with each other, they tend to stop treating the other person as their “object of desire” and read them as their “object of comfort”. While on the one hand, this can be fantastic (in a way that you feel safe and secure), it threatens to be a real joy kill both emotionally and sexually.
Both of you need to admit to one another that your relationship is no longer what it was; once you accept this change has happened, turn it to a challenge, not a dead-end point.
Work on rekindling the emotion; talk to each other and listen to what the other person has to say; understand their words and feelings. Start doing things together like you used to, stuff like watching your fav shows, documentaries, movies, cooking together, redecorating the house, doing a spring clean, hiking, etc, and turn them into your bonding time. Go out together, go on dates again (with each other) or double dates with friends… These little things will bring the closeness back and the moment emotions are fixed, you’ll start sexually desiring each other again.
Don’t fear the change
Once the emotions are in place, work on brining the sass back into your sheets. No, you don’t have to put your freak on from the get go, but you do need to step away from the missionary. Bring the excitement by experimenting with sex games you haven’t tried before and pushing boundaries. Don’t ever do something that your partner explicitly says they don’t like – at this point of your relationship, everything is still fragile, so be very patient with one another.
Push the boundaries
Forget all about the does he love me drama and is she still attracted to me nonsense, and enjoy the ride! You both are still in this relationship, which means you want to be with one another – enjoy it!Give your sexual appetites a little freedom by trying sex kits for couples that may give you a few ideas on how to fire up the sheets. Don’t dismiss erotic fashion either like basques and corsets that will make him drool or sack the idea of surprising her with a few new sex tricks from those sexy books and mags you’ve purchased on your last visit to your favorite sexy shop.
Sex should be all about letting go of your inhibitions and trust the other person. This will be your best test.
Accept who you’ve become and work with it.
The key to working things out is accepting you’ve changed – both individually and as a couple. When you realize you are two different people to those kiddies a few years back, things may change. The question is – are you two comfortable with the people you’ve become? If you are – this is your chance to explore all of your wildest dreams and fantasies and build an even stronger, more powerful connection. Good luck!