A Tear (Rhymes with “Down There”)

You know you’ve joined an elite group of sexual afficionados (or dunces) when you cause yourself a labial tear from too much adventure. Let me tell you a story about my “friend”.

She really enjoys g-spot stimulation. The firmer the better. After having used the usual vibrators and g-spot attachments, she discovered the G-Spot Lollipop. It looks like a pool-ball on a stick with another ball on the other end of the stick. It comes in a variety of sizes. (It’s important to find your Goldilocks. Not too big and not too small. VERY important.)

Well, one day my friend was using one that seemed like it was almost too big, but with a bit of silicone lube, it fit in. Once inside, it has room to do its thing. The ball on the outside end of the stick can be sharply and shortly tugged so that the inside ball taps on the backside of the g-spot. Because the pressure is being applied from inside the vagina toward the the opening, the sensation is unique and very arousing. (Or so my fiend tells me.) Deep orgasms come in waves over and over. This can go on for so long that the vagina and labia become engorged causing the vaginal opening to be a bit smaller than when you started. When she was done with her orgasm session, that's when things got interesting.

It was then that the internal ball was a tad too large to remove. What she should have done was just wait, take a cool bath, and allow the tissues to recede. Then with a bit of lube, it could have come out with ease. Unfortunately, at the time, my fiend wasn’t as knowledgable as I am, now. She panicked and just yanked it out like an obstetrician late for his tee-time. And just like that, she caused herself a nice half-inch lateral episiotomy. Oh the pain and blood!* (Or so I heard.)

After holding pressure with a clean cloth, applying ice and bacitracin, the hemorrhage began to subside. All the fun of the previous 30 minutes was eclipsed by the pain of genital self-mutilation. I, I mean, she was out of commission for about two weeks while the rip healed. It took a long time before another G-Spot lollipop was allowed anywhere near that vagina. But eventually it found its way back. It was too good to be banned permently. Fortunately she now has me to give her better advice.

*Hurts even more than a clitoral piercing--don't ask.