Throughout my graduate and professional career, I have had many learning experiences related to sex education. Fortunately, I have been able to benefit from all of these opportunities...my horizons have been broadened.
As I move further into the sex coaching profession, I have been given the opportunity to attend interesting workshops at the Sexology Institute; to engage in more insightful therapy/coaching sessions with clients; and I have been able to feel more personally and professionally confident in the human sexuality arena. One of the highly recommended books for my continuing education is Guide to Getting it On, by Paul Joannides, Psy.D. I can honestly say that it has been some of the best sex education material I have read in a very long time!
First of all, I am impressed because the 9th edition of the book was released in 2017. So for me, that means all the research information is up to date. I find this to be more credible especially with a teaching tool. I also like the fact that the author used many resources for contribution, from ordinary survey takers, to social workers and therapists, to writers, prostitutes, lawyers, and doctors. The assumption is not that only licensed/degreed people have sexual knowledge to contribute. This also makes the information more credible to me.
With the prior editions of the book, Dr. Joannides had some criticisms related to political correctness, so he decided to just write about what he knew, as opposed to having a political agenda to please everyone. His philosophy is this, “ It doesn’t matter what you’ve got in your pants if there’s nothing in your brain to connect it to.” The objective of the book is to just provide insightful information that can be used regardless of circumstances.
I really liked how he was matter-of-fact and logical about certain topics. For example, when he briefly touched on sex and morality, he reminded us of how we tend to associate sex and morality with religion, when the reality is that morality has little to do with one’s enjoyment of sex (unless there are consent issues or trust issues involved). He reminded us that morality is about respect for others. We all know this, but forget it sometimes.
He also talked about how sexual situations, and their significance, changes for us depending on circumstances. There is no finite definition of sexuality, and we should not make assumptions. It’s really impossible to give “sex” a definition.
There’s something for everyone in the book...there’s a chapter on consent and sexuality; casual sex; pornography; the art of kissing; sexual orientation; oral sex; anatomy and physiology; orgasoms; even threesomes and sexual fantasy.
This is definitely a must read for sex coaches, relationship therapists and coaches, and anyone who wants new personal or professional perspective on human sexuality. I would also recommend Guide to Getting it On--Unzipped, as a primary educational tool in undergraduate and graduate human sexuality classes.