Would you say that you’re getting enough sex? Or that your sex life is as good as it used to be at the beginning of your relationship? No matter how happy we are with our partners and how great our relationship (or our marriage) is, sex life is something else. Every now and then we start feeling like we’re stuck in a routine, and even though a routine can be comforting, it can also be bad, especially when our love life is concerned. If you’re looking for new ways to improve your sex life, here’s what you can do.
One of the most important things you have to understand in the first place is that blaming yourself or your partner for problems in your sex life will get you nowhere. Instead, try focusing and working on maintaining emotional as well as physical intimacy in your relationship or your marriage. Sometimes sexual problems stem from a physical cause, but more often than not, the root is in emotional problems and stress. Reading self-help books might be a good starting point that will help you identify the cause of problems in your sex life.
Set the mood
Sex isn’t just the physical act of lovemaking ‒ the process of seduction begins before we get into the bedroom. Do something that will soothe you and set the mood: go to a nice dinner, play a game, and find music that you both like. Go out and buy wholesale candles, find bed sheets made of soft silk, or buy silk underwear, and prepare a bowl of juicy fruit and try focusing on these things: the soft glow and scent of a candle, the feeling of silk on your skin, the taste of fruit in your mouth… This heightened sensual awareness will help you stay grounded when making love to your partner.
Make time for making love
This is something we can’t ignore: with age, our sexual responses slow down, and it can take us a long time to get aroused or climax. Make sure that you have a quiet and secluded place for you and your partner where you won’t be interrupted and where you can focus on each other. When you understand that you are going to need more time in the first place, you should work on your patience, too. After all, spending more time having sex isn’t necessarily a bad thing, is it? These might be physical obstacles that bother you, but if you work them into your lovemaking routine, it will open up possibilities of experiencing a new kind of sexual experience.
Try something new
You can easily make your lovemaking more interesting if you start experimenting in the bedroom. You can start by expanding your existing sex positions repertoire and including some sex toys, too. What is more, changing and spicing things up in the bedroom can also help you overcome certain problems. For example, the so-called “doggy style” – a position where a man enters his partner from behind, increases the stimulation of the sensitive G-spot, and this can help the woman reach orgasm more easily. In addition, you could try having sex on a different day or at a different time, and you could try a new place, too. If you’ve never had sex on the living room floor or in the woods, the very idea can be exciting and stimulating for both of you.
Use lubrication freely
Sometimes, the lack of lubrication can make sex feel uncomfortable for both partners. Perimenopause can start with vaginal dryness that can be a problem during intercourse. Fortunately, this can be easily fixed with different lubricating liquids and gels. When you use these, sex will not only be less painful, but it will offer you a chance to use lubrication liquids to experiment in the bedroom, too.
We all have problems in our love and sex life, and regardless of whether they’re big or small, we should always actively work on solving them. You can get your sex life back on track rather easily if you aren’t afraid of talking openly about the problem in the first place. Remember that being open and honest about what’s bothering you can do wonders not just for your sex life, but for your relationship, too.