During a social event, we got into a discussion about what we (ladies) like in the bedroom. Of course we joked around, but on a serious note....
Have you ever wished you could pick and choose certain traits of different men and mesh them together to make one perfect man? Most of us have! To be perfectly honest, I have always thought of this concept, but it wasn’t until recently that I actually related to this. When dating (my definition of dating is seeing multiple people at once, but not in any kind of committed relationship with them) I find myself mentally noticing the things that my mind, soul, and body long for when, either with the other, or when I’m alone. To keep some of my personal life secret, I will give fake names to my men, I will call them Brandon, Caleb, and Michael. These guys could be anyone, and we can definitely empathize ladies.
Michael has been in my life for many years. He is in the friendship category, and we have our heart-to-heart, intimate conversations. There has never been any sexual chemistry, but we have always been able to talk. Brandon was the first guy I begin to have sexual relations with, and to my surprise, he knew exactly what buttons of mine to push in order to make the experience toe curling. Over time, the sex between Brandon and I continued to get better because he was able to learn my body in a way that not many men are willing to take the time to learn. When Caleb came around, I was immediately infatuated with his physical appearance and with the way he touched me. He embraced me in a way that no other man has ever done and he had a way of making me feel safe and sensual all at the same time. Caleb didn’t quite learn my body the same way Brandon did, and although the sex was good, it wasn’t what I wanted, compared to what I knew was possible. I found that when I was with Brandon I craved the touch of Caleb, but when I was with Caleb, I wanted the sex that only Brandon was able to give me. Although I was able to communicate to Brandon, that I wanted to be touched, he didn’t quite seem to get it, and I found myself having to remind him to touch me, and no one likes to do that!
Working at the Sexology Institute and teaching a variety of the classes that we have, one of the most important things that I can tell men, is to TAKE IT SLOW, even if you feel awkward doing so, and even if you know she enjoys your sex, women like to be embraced and to feel sensual, and touch is a big part of great foreplay for us. So is having intimate, engaging conversation. Take some classes on sensual touch; don't be embarrassed or intimidated. Read books on lesbian sex, because women really know how to touch women! Read books on communication skills too. What's the worse thing that can happen? You will become a better lover!