"It is so important that young people hear the message that sex is supposed to be pleasurable and consensual, "according to Ellen Scott, from Metro News.
‘Sex and relationships will play a central role in adult life and solely focusing on the dangers of sex, without any discussion of the subject in relation to pleasure, can cause unhealthy attitudes to sex which can affect future relationships and take years to untangle.
’We need to be taught about the importance of foreplay, the clitoris, and just the simple concept of having pleasurable sex. Because sexual pleasure is important.
Sexual pleasure needs to stop being seen as ‘wrong’ or ‘inappropriate’. We need to stop being embarrassed about it.
Because if the silence around sexual pleasure continues in education, we won’t be prepared to deal with loads of important parts of being an adult.
When we don’t mention pleasure, we’re ignoring LGBTQ relationships, pretending that sex is just a way to make babies.
When we don’t mention pleasure, we’re not really discussing consent. Because you have to understand why someone would want to have sex to understand why and when they wouldn’t.
When we don’t mention pleasure, we skip over the physical and mental health benefits of sex and masturbation (because again, why would we masturbate if sex isn’t pleasurable?), and make sex something scary, dangerous, and something to be ashamed of.
We leave sex education unprepared for the complicated bits of sex. When we skim over pleasure, we aren’t taught about the ins and outs (ha) of why people make the sexual decisions they do – why they cheat, why they’re attracted to some people over others, why relationships often fail as your sex life sours.
We aren’t taught about intimacy or the emotional parts of sex. So we don’t understand why it might not be great to have sex with someone who isn’t nice to us. We aren’t prepared for sex going badly, or changing things.
And in the simplest terms, when we don’t mention pleasure, we don’t mention stuff like oral sex (which is worth mentioning, considering the majority of women don’t come from penetrative sex), the fact that the stuff you see in porn is rarely an indication of what people actually enjoy, and the very basic idea that pleasure requires time, effort, and actually caring about how the person you’re having sex with feels.
This lack of education about pleasure and how to achieve it leaves us feeling like failures, with young men unable to understand why their partners aren’t achieving orgasms, and young women feeling like they’re not performing properly because they’re not giving their partners the orgasms they think they should be having.